The pain of rejection is always so deep that many of us find it extremely difficult to get past it! I'm sure you'll agree with me! But in order to overcome the pain and heal from rejections, we must acknowledge that this pain and fear needs our intentional kind attention to understand the false beliefs that are deeply rooted from childhood. We must go underneath those layers of protective armor, we have been holding up all these years to protect ourselves from being hurt, betrayed, mistreated, and wronged in some way.
The walls we have built to keep ourselves safe, often keep us away from experiencing love, and connection- with ourselves as well with others!
When I look back at my past, I am left with this debilitating pain that spirals down my neck and makes me feel choked. As I peel back the layers to find out what is causing me this overwhelming sad feeling, I learn that its my past rejections, and the feeling of unworthy, unloved, and not being enough- that my family, friends, school, college, and society forced me to believe! And beneath each protective layer/armor [I've had created to keep myself safe] is a hurt young child, who is still waiting to be loved and celebrated, and is moving forward all-alone in her journey to find her self-worth, value, and meaning.
While growing up, I unconsciously started to believe that, I'm not enough! All I heard was the voice of my inner critic, that kept telling me that, "I was no good." I kept sinking down, crushed my self-esteem, and believed all this was real!
This post is about discovering your worth , and how to heal from the past rejections. How to accept yourself as worthy and equally talented, and to let go the need for approval of what you should do, and what you should not, and to start accepting our pain, our rejections, only to heal with self-love and self-awareness.
But coming this far in life, I have learned that, "I know more about myself than somebody else! Therefore I must always trust myself, believe in myself, when no one else does!" And this is what made me flip the pattern of "my fears are bigger than my faith." I started walking the unknown to go beyond my fears and to discover my true-self. So now, no punch of rejections [in past or in the present] can make me feel unworthy and undeserving! This is my first step towards overcoming the pain of rejection.
1. The path to healing opens up when we start accepting the realities, take full responsibilities, and work hard towards making ourselves better, a.k.a. Self-Awareness - Start believing in yourself and do not listen to what others tell you about your abilities and skills. When someone doesn't believe in you, that gives you another reason to work even harder to prove them wrong. Don't tell people your dreams. Show them! Repeat this to yourself- "I made it all by myself."
Self- awareness is important because, when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we can accept and celebrate ourselves as unique and better individuals. It is all about believing in your power, and designing your focus and vision to where you want to be!
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Jealousy destroys the goodness in us! This destructive trait constantly raises its head to remind us, "we are not worthy, we are not good enough!" And this triggers the feeling of comparison.
We feel we're not doing good in our personal and or professional life as compared to our friends and colleagues/peers. We are happy and content one moment, and the very next moment we see a new post about someone's [we know] achievement, success story, or any kind of "powerful" highlights on the social media, and we are sent down to our negative feeling zone where jealousy, insecurity, and comparison take over us.
In order to overcome this feeling of jealousy and incompleteness and feeling imperfect, we must first of all stop comparing ourselves to others, and see our own unique gifts.
Consider reminding yourself when such emotions are triggered by a person or incident: "I'm already special. I'm already good enough the way I'm. I don't need to compare myself to others. I'm worthy. And I've unique talents that makes me special and different from others."
The truth is you are You! A miracle. Unique in your way. And there's no one else like you, neither will ever be!
Therefore let your light shine. Align your life with your values, goals, and purpose. That's why you are here, and still alive. Reflect on your life positively and constructively, and keep moving forward one step at a time and leave your legacy. Create a meaning. Live your purpose. And Make a difference. Show everyone with your work how far you've come in life.
3. Break free from these old patterns of thinking and create your NEW STORY.
All the hate stories, rejection reels, and hurtful memories that we keep replaying in our head, it's time to not give power to them anymore! Let them know that they can't sabotage your present self any more by reminding you time and again of what you've gone through. You've evolved as a warrior from your problems, into a different and better you.
It is time to write a new story of your journey, your struggles, your rejections, and how you have healed from your pain of past and present rejections.
It is time to surround ourselves with people who support, value, and encourage us. Even today when I sometimes fall back into old patterns, I continue to get support and encouragement from people who accept me, inspire me, and believe in me.
I'm no longer afraid of rejections, refusals, and abandonment, because I'm confident of who I'm ,and where I belong. I share my light and inspirations with everyone, and I let me light shine. I'm on a journey [all by myself] to encourage others to find their true light too, to help them heal, and to help them be a better version of themselves.
I found these best way to overcome the pain of rejections, and I hope you find them helpful too!
The only way to bring the best in others is by seeing the best in yourself. Find the best about yourself, and silence those negative voices forever that tell you- "you're not enough!" and start accepting rejections as redirections.
We don’t have to spend our energy and time on people and things that does not value and respect us. We must instead create space for more aligned connections to come in.
"Trust the process! Let the universe bring you what you want, and what you deserve, and help you connect with kind, empathetic, encouraging, caring, and true compassionate people." ~Epsita