4 Things I Learned About Finding Confidence

Confidence is so elusive yet desired by all. Even the most confident breakdown and shrivel up but how do we keep ourselves in check? How do we find the glimmer of hope? I will go over 4 lessons I have learned during my ongoing journey to finding confidence.

1. Everyone is Human

This is very cliche. But I think this quarantine has shaken everyone up. Everybody has been rocked one way or another. After a sudden reality check, I find that many people are reevaluating the quality of their life and what they truly want. In the past, I saw many people stretching themselves thin and I would wonder how they did all of that. I started to worry about whether I was doing enough. Looking at others' success, I began to beat myself down but I learned that they had to cut corners in their own way. If you worried that everyone is ahead of you, then take this time to hone in on things you love. Don't rush in because everybody else is doing it, understand your limits and you may end up "farther" then them.

2. You Have to be Your #1 Supporter

In recent years, I felt like I was veering off the path of some of my peers and I was interested in other things. At first, it was hard to remain interested and willing to talk about certain topics. Soon after, I realized that the more diverse your friends are in comparison to you, the more fruitful and colorful your life will be. Went on a bit of a tangent there, but at the end of the day, you have to be your #1 supporter.  You can not expect support every single little step of the way. Sometimes they may say no or can’t provide help due to their own circumstances. Now it is time to be your own audience. Pull yourself up and show everyone what you got. Blow them away. Even if you had everyone supporting you, if you don’t believe in yourself then you may never achieve your goals. Even if it is difficult at first, people will admire your spirit and begin to gravitate towards you. If you can always count on yourself, you can reach unbelievable heights. 

Applicable challenge: Wear a new shirt or try a new recipe. Before you post it to social media or elsewhere, give yourself a hype monologue, like daily affirmations. This gives you a head-start and no matter what people think about it, you got your own back. 

 3. It’s not that deep

[I know this is not possible during COVID but this is just an example] 

Consider the situation: An opportunity to dance on a dance floor has presented itself to you. Would you shy away or would you dance on? 

So many people I have met will usually shy away and say “I can’t dance” or “I can’t dance like that.” But sometimes it's not that deep. Sometimes the point is to be as silly or as uncoordinated as you can. Once in a while, we all need to let loose and give ourselves some confidence juice and realize that nobody is thinking that far ahead. I bet when you are on that dance floor, you will probably forget about all those worries. 

 4.  Understand the Critics

There is a difference between critique and hate. Critique usually comes from a place of good because it is meant to improve you and whatever you are doing. While hate is rather unjustified because it attacks something that can’t be improved or leave no explanation for improvement. 

Let’s consider this situation: Your friend doesn't like the shirt you are wearing.

Hate would be: That's the UGLIEST shirt I have ever seen

Critique would be: I don’t think that shirt suits you, I think that other shirt you have would complement this outfit better. 

Hate leaves us no room for improvement, its just sits, allows itself to simmer, and then flies away. While critique always puts people in a better situation and other pathways. 

From now on, when others offer their critiques, think about how many options or pathways they are giving you. They don’t want to put you down but rather see you excel and achieve your goals. Our confidence can only grow when you take in others' consideration. Being confident doesn’t mean deflecting improvements. Truly confident people will take critique and implement them for the betterment of themselves and others. 

Remember: 

Only take critique from people who have your best interest in mind and decipher whether or not they want you to be the best version of yourself. Before you get a little beatdown and dwell on their comments, qualify your relationships and the depth of your connection. Sometimes, they might not understand your motive or love, so seek those who do or will understand. 

Like I said in the beginning, confident people can also find them at low points but I think we can all find ways to pick ourselves up. Take your time and I hope this has helped you out!

See you next time!